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Parents and teens today face a variety of issues that require
both understanding and education to address. We hope this article,
written by Dr. Judy Smith, can assist you in better understanding
the stressors your child deals with and helping them learn to
cope with stress. |
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Suicide and Teens
Teens and young adults ages 15-24 are the age group at third highest risk for suicide in the United States. For every teen that commits suicide there are about 30 more that have made some degree of suicide attempt and another 500 that have thought about it.
Why would any young person with so much of their life still ahead of them want to die?
When a person is becoming more and more suicidal they do not see any good options. It is as if they are walking down a hallway with many doors that lead outside but they become so focused on the door marked "die" that they stop seeing the others.
These factors all place a young person at greater risk of suicide:
- Depression
- Substance abuse
- Prior suicide attempt
- School failure
- Family member or close friend that attempted or did suicide
- Coping with severe losses (death of family member, divorce)
- Impulsive coping style
- Coping with an early history of abuse and neglect
- Homosexual orientation in a home severely critical of this orientation
- Peer and school conflict (breaking up, victim of bullying)
None of these things in itself always creates a suicidal risk, it just leaves a child more vulnerable to seeking a desperate way out of what seems to be an intolerable situation.
Substance abuse and very impulsive coping styles leave teens at risk of acting before they think.
How can I tell if my teen is suicidal?
Some warning signs of suicide include:
- Teen is talking more about death or suicide
- Your child is more withdrawn and seems depressed
- Teen talks about leaving, or is giving away some of their favorite items to friends and family members
- Your adolescent is on chat room and internet sites that talk a lot about death and suicide
- Grades are dropping
- Teen has less to do with friends and activities that he/she used to enjoy
Try to keep good communication with your teens and with those your teen trusts.
If your teen seems to be going through a lot of stress or depression, ask them how are they doing, do they think they can come out of this okay, or how hopeless are they feeling. If a teen describes feeling hopeless that their situation will improve, or trapped, or very upset about an event they don't think they can handle, ask "how bad does it get?
Do you ever find yourself wondering if you can go on or, or if it would be better if you didn't exist? If a teen says yes to this, ask them to tell you more about those thoughts. If the teen will tell you, ask:
- What do you say to yourself when you think this?
- How often do the thoughts come?
- How strong are they?
- Do you feel safe? Do you believe you might hurt yourself?
- Have you thought about how you would do it?
- Have you taken any steps towards that?
What do I do if my teen is suicidal?
If a teens is thinking about suicide as a solution, even occasionally and with no real plan towards it, an evaluation and counseling with a licensed mental health professional should occur.
Mary had just broken up with her boyfriend, and saw him with a new girl at school. She was moody at home, tearful one moment, and angry the next. Her mother overheard her tell a friend on the phone that she just "wanted to die". Mary had not planned or completed any actions towards this, but she did say that she had had these thoughts off and on for the last six months. Her parents got her into counseling with a licensed professional, and Mary began to do better.
John's brother came home one day and found John sitting in his bedroom with one of his father's guns in his hand. There was the smell of beer in the room. John's brother began talking with him and gradually convinced John to come downstairs for some coffee. While John was downstairs, his brother called Crisis Services and hid the gun. A Crisis Services team, including a police officer, came to the home and evaluated John. John was admitted to a local psychiatric unit for further evaluation and help.
From these two examples, you can see that the level of counseling and professional help provided is based on how suicidal the teen is. In a suicidal crisis, Crisis Services or the police need to be contacted immediately while someone stays with the suicidal individual. In less severe situations, helping the teen into a counseling situation for evaluation and care is appropriate.
What if my teen won't seek help?
If you are afraid that your teen is at immediate risk of hurting themselves, call Crisis Services (456-2014) if you are an Erie County resident. Residents of other counties may have a Hotline or similar crisis service available. Explain what you are seeing and hearing. Crisis Services can send a team to the home if it appears necessary.
Pennsylvania law permits a person to be detained and taken to the hospital for an emergency evaluation if that person is clearly a suicidal risk. A family member that has heard suicidal threats and has knowledge of steps the teen has taken towards acting on those threats can call Crisis Services and ask to petition that their teen be taken involuntarily to the hospital. If the petition contains enough evidence that the teen is at immediate risk, it will be approved, and the police and Crisis Services will take the teen to a hospital for evaluation.
If the hospital physician(s) feel the teen is at immediate risk, your teen can be kept at the hospital for treatment against their will.
It is important to know that just talking about suicide is not enough to make these things happen, there has to be some clear proof that steps are being taken to acting on these threats.
If your teen is having some suicidal thoughts, but is not in an immediate suicidal crisis and won't go to counseling, call a counselor anyway. Make an appointment for you, the adult. Use the time with the counselor to learn more about how to help your teen.
Encourage your teen to stay in contact with trusted family members and friends that can provide support, time to listen, and good advice. Help the teen come up with some better solutions to their problems.
I think my teen is just looking for attention with all this talk of suicide.
It is always better to react to suicidal statements as something serious. There are, unfortunately, many people who make severe suicidal attempts or actually kill themselves, while others around them are saying, "he just wants attention, he's not serious, she is just full of self-pity". If someone is so desperate for attention that they are threatening to kill themselves, give them attention and counseling assistance.
How do I make the home environment safer for a suicidal teen?
Overdosing and use of guns are the two primary methods of suicide for young people.
A significant number of teens who make suicide attempts, get high or drink alcohol before attempting.
The following common sense steps will help you reduce risk of harm at home:
- Lock all medicines away, including over the counter medications like aspirin and cold medications.
- If you have guns at home, ask a family member or friend to store them at their home in a safe manner. You may say, "but I always look my gun cabinet." However, teens often know where you store the key.
- If you can't take guns out of the house, be sure that all guns are unloaded and store ammunition in a locked area separate from the locked guns. Lock the guns up in a way that the teen has no access to the key. Putting the key on your key chain still gives the teen access. The best bet is always to take the guns out of the home.
- Remove very sharp objects like kitchen knifes, razors, etc.
- Keep alcohol where teens can not obtain it.
- Arrange for an adult to be in the home more often when the teen is home. This provides some added supervision and support.
While these steps are not guaranteed to prevent a suicidal attempt, they take away immediate access to the most common things a teen might use. Because a suicide attempt can be a very impulsive act removing immediate objects of harm from the home can save lives.
Teens may be aware that you are taking these steps, and may resent it. Jamie said to her mother, "You don't trust me. You're treating me like baby. I'm not crazy. I could go to the store and buy more pills". Jamie's mother said, "I trust and love you, but I know that when people are thinking of hurting themselves it doesn't help to have this stuff around. I know I can't make the whole world safe for you, but I want to try to make this house a little safer until you are feeling better."
Remember that strong, supportive family relationships; good communication; and teaching teens good ways to cope with crisis reduce the risk of suicide. But any teen can feel hopeless and desperate. Always treat suicidal talk or threats as serious, and seek professional mental health advice.
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